Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize
