thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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