I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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