I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
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she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
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Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
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