hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
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