Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
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