At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
mondays should just be called national damage control day
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize
