The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
I deserve to be covered in dicks
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
Randomize
