Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
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