That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
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