Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
You are a genius and a whore.
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
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