Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
Randomize
