what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
i'm stoned. there's a jazz trio playing outside across the street...scared that mike myers will appear & start yelling 'woman...WHOA MAN. WHOOOA MAN.' i'm snapping my fingers.
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
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