Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
Randomize