I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
He was too drunk, and my mother and I ended up babysitting him. He told her I have amazing mouth skills, and that I love the "chorizo" he feeds me. All she said was "And on the list of 30 things you never want to hear about your daughter..." while gripping the steering wheel.Please just fucking kill me now.
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
Randomize
