How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
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