Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
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