It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
Randomize
