Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize