What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
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