you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
I'm bleeding and have questions
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
