So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
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That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
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note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
I woke up under a house in Key West
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