Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
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