I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
