You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
Randomize
