i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
First drunken handjob: not successful. Second handjob, mostly sober: much better. Nightly news brought to you by me.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
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