she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
Randomize
