You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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