the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
Randomize
