i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
I just took what could be the most awkward shit in my life, which considering my definition of awkward and my experiences shitting, is pretty fucking awkward.
...
I was sitting there doing my business and the guy in the stall next to me banged on the stall and asked me how to spell picnic because he wasn't sure.
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
Randomize
