WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
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