im drinking this country out of the recession.
Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize
