You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
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