whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Randomize
