Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
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