I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
Okay, this next statement may sound like a red flag but I'm tellin you, shotgunning those two beers really helped me love my child more effectively. Honest.
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
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