so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
