well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
Randomize
