She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
Some dudes just stopped and stared at me peeing in the street for like 5mins, and I yelled HEY. HEY. WANT ME TO SHIT IN YOUR MOUTH? I'LL SHIT ON YOUR CHEST FOR FIVE DOLLARS, PAPI
this is why i love drunk you
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
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