We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
