drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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