The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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