My hair reeks of homosexuality.
I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
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Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
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You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
There's even glitter on my cock...
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