No, drunk sperm still make babies.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
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