how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
Randomize
