I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
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