I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
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