my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
Randomize
