The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
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