spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
The following message is brought to you by IMSOFUCKINGSORRY. Dude I'm really sorry I got you arrested last night. You are allowed to choose a repayment plan from the following options: Money, weed, or a single kick to the balls any time within the next calender months. Repayment outside of the aforementioned options can be negotiated and considered within reason.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
Randomize
