If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
Randomize
