OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
Randomize
