I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
Randomize
