so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
Randomize
