Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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