If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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