I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
How drunk are you?
Completed.
Randomize