I only kidnapped one of them. chill
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
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