I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
