I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
I'm experimenting with sincerity
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
Randomize
