I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
That accounts for only three of the penises
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
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