Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
Come see our sink grown plant.
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
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