so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
Randomize
