Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
I need a hoe opinion
go on
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
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