fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
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