Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
Randomize
