so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
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