the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
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